If you haven’t read this jewel of a yaoi manga, it’s time you do, since it’s in its final volumes.
Even if you’re familiar with the works of Yoneda Kou (NightS), the first chapter of what apparently was a series of experimental one shots in 2011 (Don’t Stay Gold, Tadayoedo Shizumazu, Saredo Naki mo Sezu) published on HertZ magazine about a very damaged and broken, vulnerable young boy like Yashiro, will suck you into his world of lust and despair, sex addicted horny neko uke delight and misery.
All going together, dancing madly.
Because Yashiro is not your regular tsundere uke.
Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai backstory synopsis
If you’re not familiar with the world of yakuza in manga fiction, this is one way to crudely start.
The world of yakuza is, of course, overly simplified in manga, but we can generally know that it is actually the biggest organized crime organization in the world.
And this often fluctuates, because yakuza organizations often live off legal and illegal activities. In this sense, it is the perfect ‘gray’ organization.
In real life, there are mainly three factions: the Yamaguchi-gumi, the Sumiyoshi-kai and the Inagawa-kai.
In the manga, Yashiro enrolls in a group (Shinsei) under the Doushinkai, that for its structure and care-free way of doing things, seems inspired more like the second group, with a decentralized organization, instead of the Yamaguchi-gumi and its rigid structure.
Though I started reading the manga when it had the proper name of Saezuru, Yashiro’s story starts wayy back with the above mentioned one shots that had been included as part of volume 1.
The only thing that Yashiro has known all throughout his life is tragedy after tragedy.
A disfunctional home, his step-father sexually abused him constantly since he was barely 5 years old.
His mother abandoned home, only leaving him with a monthly allowance, always saying nothing.
For years, Yashiro stared at an empty table with that money.
And nothing else.
His High School years passed by, he was smart but didn’t feel motivated to study, he was rather interested in the perverse.
Feeling tied, feeling pain, mind-blowing sex from any position.
He was initially interested in girls, but the first time he had sex with one it was so rough and horrible that the girl couldn’t stop crying.
Only men could give him what he wanted.
His only crush, a fellow brilliant pupil named Kageyama, secretly shared his paraphilias for scars and self-induced pain. But nothing else.
By this time, Yashiro developed a fascinating but disturbing personality. He certainly knew he was attractive. And that he could get he what he wanted.
He could be an ‘actor’ in this sense. And what role to play?
That’s how the real descent began. Going to love hotels to be banged and gangbanged by yakuza bosses, underlings, everyone, nobody could believe it: what was it about this guy?
Does he have any self-preservation? Dignity?
They could project all their hate, anger and internalized homophobia on him.
And he would just take it.
And actually beg for more.
Yashiro eventually meets Misumi, the boss of the Doushinkai, who finds him stark naked in the snow after being delightfully gangbanged by the Matsubara group and owing 6 months of rent.
Misumi is curious, what is it about this child?
Turns out Yashiro discovers how this world is all about money and begins working for Misumi on a lease.
Expensive clothes, expensive appartment, cars, anything he wanted. He was actually talented with money too, shark loans, extorsions and the like.
But that didn’t satiate his thirst.
Eventually going up the ladder of power, he eventually becomes the Wakagashira (second in command) of the Doushinkai, but this obviously rubs some people the wrong way, namely his former superiors that were tired and fascinated of abusing him over and over again.
As you see, this review has been all about profiling Yashiro, but the REAL STORY begins here.
Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai 1
When he meets his new bodyguard, Doumeki Chikara.
Doumeki seems to him like a doofus, but he’s tall, strong-shouldered. Has this deep, penetrating eyes.
In a way, Yashiro has matured and calmed down a bit, he’s just resigned to his destiny.
“…Life is just one tragedy after the other…” is the pervading thought in his mind.
But then he wants to blow Doumeki.
Doumeki calmly gives in.
But to Yashiro’s amusement, Doumeki is impotent. Loyal, efficient, but impotent.
Yashiro takes this as a challenge, their chemistry goes back and forth in the middle of a plot to assassinate him.
Doumeki is an ex-cop who was discharged and sent into prison because he beat his step-father to a pulp. The step-father was raping his little sister.
Thus it’s the beginning of Yashiro and Doumeki’s connection. From here I won’t spoil more since it’s definitely better that you discover this story and its complexities, as frankly I just wanted to give you a main idea.
Below you will find spoilers.
Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai manga character datasheet
Theme: Yakuza, Masochist, Sadist, Police, Ex-Police, Pedo, Psychological, Dark Comedy
Seme: ultimate-seme, broad shoulders, rough, hard on the edges, hard boiled, gentle, simple, kind, reluctant sadist, ex-cop
Romance story: love at first sight, psychological, profound
The situation of Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai manga licensing in the US
Incredibly enough and in contrast with how Ten Count manga is having so much success, the licensing situation leaves a lot to be desired.
Initially licensed by SubLime that took forever in pulling volumes 1 and 2, and now Juné manga, the main issue seems how to market such a ‘risqué’ and dark story in the US, full of sexual violence themes.
Even so, the manga is having great success in countries like Spain, Germany, Italy and France, in which publishing houses have a more ‘artisan’ mindset and know that there IS demand for such great stories.
Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai Spoilers chapter 23 – Out on September 30 -October 4
Initial Speculation for Saezuru 23
A turning point that marks how will this manga end.
There’s quite some expectations and hype.
It looks like they’ll finally go the full way, but what will this mean for Doumeki?
The eternal question: will Yashiro fire him?
As of today, I haven’t got any data, but when THAT day hits:
Right now, my speculation is this:
For some reason, I’m suspecting that Doumeki has been an undercover cop all along, due to his prowess and training. I don’t know but he wasn’t some ordinary cop.
But he just has the right doses of bad luck.
By falling in love with the Boss.
It would be quite the twist if this turns out to be true, isn’t it?
Could he really pull Yashiro out of that world, when Misumi wants him to become his successor?
Once a cop, always a cop, as he has demonstrated by his ultimate seme behaviour.
Or could he be working for another agency? Interpol, perhaps?
I think that such a twist would complicate the story too much, when it’s supposed to end. Unless it’s meant to end tragically?
Saezuru spoilers and alternative synopsis for chapter 23
(UPDATE September 30): full details with a rough translation!
(UPDATE October 22): organized all the messy details, now that the frenzy is over, but I’m preserving the parts of the rough translation that coincide with the release.
The spoilers got released early with full pics, of course due to the hype of the 4th volume coming out on the same day.
Yashiro: “Stop playing around, I don’t care what do you think, don’t avoid this again”, as he feels Doumeki’s abdomen and climbs onto him.
Yashiro: “You loved it when you pinned me down, didn’t you?”
Doumeki is in utter despair
“I should have restrained myself, because I was so captivated by you, I fell for you”
Yashiro: “Huh? Don’t stray from the topic a million years. It’s not like you’re in a position to negotiate, especially with what’s going on below your waist, I don’t care about your feelings, I only eat what is served”, he purrs.
Yashiro started rubbing himself against him, and grabs his crotch hard, Doumeki is very aroused, seeing stars, that’s why he covered his eyes.
Yashiro: “Don’t you want to have sex? I always wanted to have you shoot a fine into my hole”, the dirty police wordplay is exquisite here o.o
(Correction: Yashiro didn’t exactly say that, but apparently he said so in a way that can interpreted figuratively like this because of the kanjis, that’s the reason of the initial confusion)
Yashiro questions him, “what’s the matter? we can finally do it, I can finally get to know what you like?”
“You can’t do it after all, can you?” Yashiro asks, smiling sadly. There’s an interesting shift in Yashiro here, with his hair down, like back in those days.
Yashiro is in inner turmoil. He laughs.
“Hahahahaha, my stomach hurts”
“Is this because you don’t want to be like your Father? Does this remind you of your sister?”
Doumeki goes limp.
“What a waste of time”
Yashiro is shocked by Doumeki’s confession, can’t handle it, gets up and gives himself a shower, fully clothed.
Yashiro really looks vulnerable here, the actor’s mask has shattered. What a twist. He’s feeling like in those Kageyama days, the tragedy of one sided love.
Yashiro: “What am I so angry with? when did this start?”
As he thinks over and over what Doumeki said.
What is it about him?
“He didn’t show any hesitation, the way his hands clamped me, his hot tongue and that wanton licking”
He can’t go the full way with him but has been in love with him since when…?
Doumeki in his room after what he just said. “Did I really screw up?”
“I don’t want to be abandoned by him”
But he hears the sounds of water and hurries himself with a towel, only to find Yashiro sitting by the bathtub, dazzled.
“Boss, your injury, I’m so sorry…”
“Doumeki…listen…you’re not like that person (your father)…just look at me”
Yashiro: “I don’t want to let you go because you’re so cute”
This is the part where Yashiro tells him that the reason he told him all those things and questioning in the previous chapter is because he was afraid of losing him, since he’s only been three months in the job, and he just couldn’t stand it if he died in the line of work for him!
Yashiro: “It’s not you I’m afraid of, I fear of not being able to stand it if I lost you”
Doumeki can’t friggin believe it, he’s crying.
Well, the rest I have no words. You have seen the kiss and hug panels already.
Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai Spoilers chapter 24 – Out on November 30
Initial Speculation – updated November 28th
The kiss continues, but while it didn’t look at all that there would be no love scene, yes there is.
Even Yoneda-sensei is eager to tell us what’s going on, as she posted these two preview images in the official account:
Doumeki: are you scared of me that much?
Will they sleep together for the night on the same futon?
The thing is: will Doumeki ultimately get fired? is this a way of saying goodbye?
You know, I’m getting the feeling more and more that Doumeki could be let go temporarily because of Yashiro freaking out, the more I re-read the previous chapter, the more I know that Yashiro will just panic after that kiss.
And after they get back to the ‘normal yakuza world’, he will tell Doumeki those hated words in front of everyone. A self-defense mecanism. The actor’s mask is back. So much like him.
Unless time passes, they go to Yashiro’s appartment where there is hot water and a jacuzzi and…
Next chapter could delve more into Doumeki’s past!
Maybe the idea for this latest volume is to wrap up the series with cop/ex-cop intrigue.
And apparently Yoneda-sensei is thinking of doing more than 5 volumes.
Saezuru spoilers and alternative synopsis for chapter 24 – updated December 3
They keep kissing until Yashiro gathers the will to clench his teeth, force close his mouth and push Doumeki away a bit.
The cover shows a naked Yashiro struggling. It says: ” I can’t be caught”. The other half of the spread is not shown, but probably on January we will see it’s Doumeki on the other side.
Yashiro: “no, you’re wrong. Just forget what I said before. I’m actually afraid of losing myself”
But Doumeki still holds his hand against his shoulder.
Doumeki: “If you are afraid of losing yourself, how can you be afraid of me? I’m here”
While Yashiro is pulling an Onodera, he’s implying that pursuing a relationship with Doumeki, his underling, will only get in the way of his yakuza life, and only make things worse if he loses Doumeki.
But Doumeki reassures him that he IS here, that he will be there for him.
Yashiro looks up at him, startled.
“If I release this hand I have to answer…”
I want to stress here in this alt-synopsis that non-verbal language is the key.
Doumeki is holding his hand to his shoulder as sort of a promise, that he won’t allow any situation that might endanger him or Yashiro, that he has the capacity to do so.
That’s why Doumeki takes Yashiro’s hand to his heart.
Yashiro: (thoughts) “You…of all people”
Yashiro: “you got it wrong”
Yashiro insists in his uke denial.
Yashiro: “no matter how incredible you are, you can’t do this alone, but that’s not the case”
Yashiro: “you really messed me up”
“Do I want to fire you? Should I be angry with you?”
“I don’t want to think. I don’t know.”
“I wonder what to do with you, before…”
Doumeki looks sad.
Yashiro: “I can’t do this either way”
Doumeki looks at the state Yashiro is in. There is no actor mask of that dandy yakuza character. It’s Yashiro in his most raw, at his most vulnerable state.
Yashiro has no answer to the feelings that are overwhelming him, only his head is telling him that a relationship with his most precious underling is not viable.
Doumeki pulls him up. I guess I don’t need to explain the symbolism here.
Holding his hand, he takes him to his bedroom.
Doumeki: “I will dry you. Please take off your clothes.”
What I think it’s interesting in the whole chapter is the shift in Doumeki’s attitude.
Which frankly keeps feeding my theories that he’s either an undercover cop, but I’m leaning more that he is in some kind of contractor deal with the police or other agency. And, he has still a position in the police that allows him to pull some strings.
Because as you will see in the next scenes, let’s face it, Doumeki is a mere underling, the last in the food chain, he’s only in his trial period, he hasn’t even done the sake ceremony.
What card does he have in his sleeve? What gives him the capacity and authority to stand up to Yashiro in a way that he’s the dominant one in the relationship, despite Yashiro being his boss?
Let’s not forget that Yashiro is about to become the number 1 in Doushinkai, to be Misumi’s sucessor.
Doumeki has to be something as well.
Yashiro: “Take these off”, referring to his pants.
Doumeki takes off his belt, pants, briefs. Then hangs Yashiro’s clothes.
Doumeki: “Please sit down and wait a moment”
Yashiro: “you’re such a freak, you know?”
The cute towel scene.
Yashiro: “I don’t want to force you because you can’t get it up, are you kidding me?”
Doumeki: “is that so?”
Yashiro; “You are one really weird guy, even weirder than me” (for falling for me)
Doumeki: “I don’t think Boss is weird at all”
Yashiro: “I won’t change my mind”
Yashiro: “the futon..is getting wet”
Yashiro is beginning to see Doumeki in a new light. But how can their relationship even work?
Doumeki leaves him very little room for thought as he lingeringly places kisses on his hair.
Doumeki: “I always loved touching your hair, so golden, thin and soft”, he starts caressing Yashiro’s neck.
Yashiro: “stop it”
Doumeki: “I always touched it whenever you were asleep”, he told him to his ear.
Doumeki: “and I always thought that you were beautiful on the inside, too”
You know what scares me? o.o That Doumeki is talking in a past tense, meaning that he knows that he will be fired anyway? So these are his latest moments with Yashiro?
Yashiro: “stop this already, just don’t treat me like that”
Yashiro: “do what you want to do and get it over quickly”
But we cut to a flashback in Yashiro’s mind.
Oh boy o.o, it was when Doumeki slept on the floor, dressed as a police officer.
Yashiro kissed him in the temple. He can’t deny or betray his own feelings.
Doumeki: “I have seen you so many times doing it with other people, even when knowing I couldn’t do it with you”
He starts caressing Yashiro’s back. The towel is off.
Doumeki: “This body… I don’t want other men touching it”
Doumeki: “…I want you to only be me, that you will only want me, will need only me”, caressing his face between his hands.
Yashiro’s expression here is undescribable. Doumeki is practically asking him to leave the Yakuza, to leave this obscure life, this underworld, this ‘sweetening the deal with a fuck’ lifestyle.
What gives Doumeki the authority to ask such a thing? He has to have something.
Yashiro grasps his forearm firmly, he can’t believe either what he’s hearing.
Yashiro: “A bird…can’t quit…stop”
Doumeki is merely inches from his lips.
Yashiro: “I don’t want you to…”
But Doumeki cuts him off with a passionate kiss.
Then it follows the EPICness of Doumeki’s passion, playing Yashiro’s body like a stradivarius.
Yashiro is not used to this type of touch.
Yashiro: “Stop, I’m going to puke”
Doumeki: “Even if you do, I’ll keep going”
What is really sad about this line makes me wonder how much abuse did Yashiro endure while he was Hirata’s underling? Hirata took him like a ‘wife’, but there is something more.
And it’s somehow a key on Hirata’s motivation to wanting Yashiro dead, is not only about ‘jealousy’ over Misumi picking Yashiro as his successor.
Maybe Ryuuzaki knows. Maybe he made the connection that day when he saw Yashiro, hanging his head by the window.
It’s not only about Yashiro merely thinking that ‘vanilla sex’ or ‘love-making’ is disgusting, and that rough sex is what he really likes.
Despite Doumeki’s passion, it’s clear that Yashiro has a trauma or phobia that conditioned him to only want pain, to love receiving pain. It’s a case relatively similar to Shirotani from Ten Count.
In this case, Yashiro has a sex/intimacy phobia, rooted from the days his step-father raped him, hindering his social/emotional development as a child, and it only aggravated when Hirata took him over and over again.
Due to this, he may also have gender role/gender identity issues, he refuses to be ‘feminized’, treated ‘like a woman’, when that’s actually how he feels inside.
He’s denying who he really is, what he really wants, all his life.
And Doumeki is bringing that to the surface, by showing him these feelings that overwhelm him, he can’t really grasp what it is.
Doumeki: “I guess I’m like my father, after all”
It’s not like he chose to fall deeply in love with Yashiro and desire him with his soul, but here he is. He is the one that knows Yashiro to the core, he wants to keep going with the true love exposure therapy o.o
On Doumeki’s side, his main issue is that he thinks his overwhelming stamina and libido is just something wrong and unpure, due to the trauma of having seen his father raping his sister.
But Yashiro caresses his cheek.
Yashiro: “you’re wrong, you were impotent because you’re so pure”
Doumeki: “that’s not true, I had to meet you, I..”
Yashiro: “stop, you don’t have to do this”
He thinks Doumeki is treating him gently and with this level of adoration because he wants to prove that he’s different from his father.
But Doumeki pins him down and begins blowing him off, with everything he has, what bothers Yashiro the most at this point is how Doumeki won’t just claim him.
Why doesn’t he take his pants off? Why won’t Doumeki let him reciprocate?
He even opens and grinds himself up against the seam of Doumeki’s jeans, desperately, like a madman, lost in lust.
Yashiro: “I want you to fill me up”
Then the infamous rimming scene that I know you have seen it for the 65797 time o.o
Yashiro came so hard and quick that even Doumeki can’t believe it.
Yashiro:(thoughts) “Licking my body..my insides…it’s like he’s taking it all, making me his, part by part”
He has the flashback of how Doumeki looked at him that day in the backseat of the Lexus.
He can’t stop trembling.
Doumeki: “Boss? What..?”
Yashiro: “You just won’t listen, I can’t do this anymore, stop”
But Doumeki fiercely nips him on the back, Yashiro can’t believe how his body is responding to this man.
Doumeki: “Please don’t run away, Boss”
As you see, Yoneda-sensei left us with THE cliffhanger of the year.
Let’s just say that counseling sessions from Dr. Kurose from Ten Count will be needed for Yashiro
(no, not that type of sessions o.o, those sessions are only for Shirotani).
That’s why Yoneda Kou-sensei had that sad song for inspiration when working on this chapter.
Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai Spoilers chapter 25 – Out on January 31st, 2017
Initial Speculation – January 21
It’s boding now to be a transition episode of a few pages, let’s prepare for a hot EPIC Valentine February Special o.o
Yoneda Kou-sensei decided to kill us to celebrate the Chinese New Year.
Unless Doumeki is a masochist too that likes to deny himself, he IS aroused
And that nip he gave Yashiro at the end means that he wants to continue and give Yashiro what he ultimately wants, despite his hesitance.
Yashiro can’t believe how he came so easily, and Doumeki hasn’t really done anything to him yet.
But don’t worry, Yashiro will soon discover that Doumeki >>>>>>>>>>> the 11 Matsubara guys combined o.o
Doumeki >>>>>>>>>>>> Ryuuzaki
Doumeki >>>>>>>>>>>> Hirata
Doumeki >>>>>>>>>>> Misumi
However, I’m going to risk it here and say that three (four) things may happen:
1.- Doumeki getting fired
2.- Doumeki quitting ( a twist)
3.- Yashiro leaving the yakuza
4.- A timeskip
I’m going lately for Number 1, there’s something about Yashiro that feels like he doesn’t deserve Doumeki, or that Doumeki must restore his honor as a cop (so he can satisfy his policeman fetish too o.o).
He definitely feels like Doumeki is wasting his true potential being in the yakuza.
But Doumeki only wants to be by his side. And of course, let’s not forget the theory that he might still be an agent or still pulling some strings.
As an interesting afternote, Doumeki’s first name is Chikara. Chikara means Power. What’s a yakuza always lusting after?
Saezuru spoilers and alternative synopsis for chapter 25 – updated February 2 –
Doumeki nipped him in the back but continued kissing him on the area and stroking him on his perineum
Yashiro can’t stop trembling
As a bomb literally dropped after finishing the work on the Fairy Tail spoilers, it was a semi-transition chapter of sorts, in which Yoneda-sensei killed us to celebrate the Chinese New Year, AND Yashiro’s birthday.
The cover has Yashiro in a similar position as in last chapter’s cover.
Doumeki’s words resonating through him: “Don’t run away, Boss”
“What is this…”
Then a more detailed cover shows that it’s Doumeki on his back, holding him.
“I know it’s not the case”
This plays with the theme of Yashiro being a bird (yakuza) that can’t get caught. But he can’t help being caught by Doumeki, ironically a former cop.
“Boss…”. Doumeki groans while he keeps kissing Yashiro on the back.
Yashiro is still very aroused.
“Just fuck me”, he says between moans.
Doumeki: “I’m sorry”
“This is strange…”, Yashiro’s afterthoughts begin floating in his conscience.
Doumeki begins grinding heavily against him and keeps nipping him.
This is too much for Yashiro, he’s biting the sheets at this point.
“…I really want him?”
Doumeki uses the cum left of the sheets from the previous rimming and in one swift move, begins fingering Yashiro with it.
Yashiro is beyond disbelief at this point.
Doumeki affectionately keeps kissing on the back and fingering him.
All that Yashiro has known as pleasure is being replaced by each motion Doumeki makes.
Doumeki is a mixture of amusement of being the one making Yashiro become an utter mess like this, utter contentment and pleasure in finally defiling his uke fruit, but at the same time utter discomfort.
He really wanted their first time to be something special and romantic, more than just a fuck for Yashiro. He wanted to have lube and make everything safe, so he wouldn’t hurt his beloved uke like others have abused and used him.
But he KNOWS at this point that he’s being naive.
“Pull..out”, Yashiro begs and archs inwards.
Yashiro is wayyy more than ready.
In a very dramatic move, Doumeki pulls down his zipper and gets his dick out, slowly.
DAMN YOU DOUMEKI, YOU FRIGGIN DENIAL EXPERT. o.o
Yashiro at last feels Doumeki’s dick, sliding and grinding between his buttocks. Doumeki subreptitiously pulled the sheets so Yashiro’s ass is lifted.
But he’s frustrated, he wanted more resources.
Yashiro is on the verge of passing out.
“Please say that you want it”, Doumeki demands (I can imagine that seiyuu’s voice)
Doumeki arcs up, his body hard as ever.
“Say that you want it or I won’t put it in”
“Say that you want me”, Doumeki demands again.
Yashiro won’t even answer at this point, his ass begins grinding against him, desperately.
Doumeki grabs his shoulder and turns him on his back
Yashiro’s expression is a mixture of fear, surprise, confusion and utter arousal. True vulnerability through every pore of his skin. No one has touched him so far like Doumeki. He can’t help but keep panting.
When Doumeki sees his expression, he begins caressing him.
“I’m sorry, Boss”
“I’m sorry”, he repeats. Doumeki is also scared of his own libido and his sadistic nature, but as you see, he’s conscious about it, he doesn’t want to follow that path, that script, and thus he doesn’t want Yashiro to follow anymore that masochistic script either.
“Don’t…break me”, apparently it’s what Yashiro managed to say.
Doumeki wants to show him that there is much more beyond that.
That’s why in a quick killer motion, Doumeki grabs his dick and penetrates Yashiro in one full strong thrust.
Then it follows one of the most beautiful panels in this manga.
Yashiro arcs his body, the feelings and sensations rippling through him, embracing Doumeki with his moving left arm.
Doumeki can barely hold himself together, gritting his teeth and giving his most fierce stare ever.
“I won’t ever break you, EVER”, he states.
Doumeki begins moving in earnest, pounding Yashiro with all he has, but Yashiro tries with his left hand to get him to change position.
Doumeki caresses his arm, pins him and starts kissing him, rocking him at the same time.
Yashiro’s thoughts keep floating.
“…It doesn’t feel wrong…”
“Boss”, Doumeki keeps saying and moving inside him, kissing him fervently.
“More…I want more…”, Yashiro screams.
“…he’s torturing my whole body like I’m used to many times…”, <— I think he’s referring to Hirata in this line, who treated him like a wife, and the Matsubara boys, Doumeki can fill all that.
Doumeki increases his strength, uncontrollably slamming his hips against Yashiro, who keeps grabbing the sheets for dear life, his foot slowly pushing Doumeki’s jeans down.
Doumeki realizes that he’s letting his control slip, so he stops and begins rimming Yashiro again.
It looks like Yashiro came for the third time o.o
But Doumeki keeps rimming
Yashiro this time caresses him to stop
“…Don’t do me from the front…”
“…Do me from behind…”
Like testing their limits, Doumeki mercilessly slams him from behind, but Doumeki is still holding himself a bit, watching Yashiro’s reactions.
Yashiro uncontrollably moans and screams in pleasure.
Doumeki licks his back, and Yashiro comes for the fourth time o.o
Doumeki holds him from his back. He’s all sweaty, a bit spent, and he hasn’t even come yet for the first time.
“Can I do you from the front? I want to look at your face”, he asks.
“No”, Yashiro replied.
“I understand”, Doumeki said.
Doumeki pulls out and draws a moan from Yashiro, gets up to look for a cushion. He wants Yashiro to be the most comfortable possible and that’s what frustrated him.
It’s obvious by this point that they have been doing it all the way through the wee hours of the morning, the warm sunlight filtering through the curtains.
“Your body looks so tense on this mat, underneath this…”
But Yashiro pulls him for a passionate kiss, the first reciprocation from Yashiro, who still can’t believe that this GOD of stamina and endurance has been giving all this to him, without even flinching much.
“This side of you is what makes me really angry, you know”, Yashiro teases.
They go at it again in the morning.
Yashiro ended up indulging Doumeki in doing him from the front, anyway.
As they keep rocking and rocking, Yashiro begs for more and more. He wants to know where this rabbit hole of feelings leads to, anyway.
Yashiro: “Hurt me, do anything”
Doumeki is more comfortable this time, slamming effortlessly and continuously.
Frankly, at this point I doubt that Yashiro will fire him after this o.o so it can be considered a twist.
Doumeki: “I won’t do anything…ah…(moan) that I wouldn’t be proud of”
He smiles as he keeps going, it’s like he knows the exact measure of pressure and strength
Doumeki:”…even if you order me to…”
He then kisses Yashiro in that area between the eyebrows.
Doumeki:”…Boss…”, as he moans and groans too, he’s more loose this time.
Yashiro moans louder, nearing his fifth cum.
Doumeki: (groans) “…Boss…”
“You’re beautiful”, all he manages to say as he kisses Yashiro and keeps going.
Yashiro: “Ok, just shut up!”, he protests, teasingly. You may have noticed that there is a pivotal character shift for Yashiro here, acting more tenderly, embracing and caressing Doumeki.
Doumeki: “…Boss…”, as he smiles and keeps going, nearing his actual first cum after all those hours o.o
Doumeki: “…Mine..”, he grunts as he finally comes and Yashiro can feel it too through the aftershocks, arching his back.
This somehow triggered a flashback for Yashiro, thus the bittersweet symphony begins.
Yashiro remembers how he was raped by his step-father, tied up with the door semi-open.
Yashiro: “Why just now”
How is his mind making the connection Doumeki= his step father?? He wonders. The peak of heavenly happiness and the lowest misery he knew as a child?
I guess this goes with the theme of ‘life is full of contradictions’
But then another series of flashbacks reveal how he developed a self-defense mechanism, not feeling pain, but rather embracing it, like a mask.
Thus the iron mask of the actor is born.
“So you don’t feel any pain at all?” a figure (we don’t even know if it’s Yashiro’s mother?) asks.
A young Yashiro with a bruised cheek just laughs, caressing it.
Then we go back to teen yashiro being banged by yakuza bosses.
That same expression.
But then the inner child is crying all the time.
“If there’s no pain, then I can’t get it on”
Yashiro is finally beginning to recognize his problem.
As he sees the light filtering through the curtains, just like that semi-open door, he cries at the realization.
Doumeki is asleep, and Yashiro feels his right hand trembling, gaining some movement, but I guess there’s still pain.
He covers his face with it, the realization keeps hitting him.
Then we see this key panel.
What will the actor do with his mask?
Doumeki is asleep and looking 5 years younger.
Yashiro stares at him, but the cellphone begins vibrating.
Yashiro and Doumeki slept together, Yashiro subreptitiously slipped out of Doumeki’s arms.
He gets up, holding his right arm, gets out of the room.
Back to Yakuza reality and a series of decisions.
Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai General Speculation 2017
Did Yashiro’s mother have any relationship with the yakuza? Debt, perhaps?
I’m certain that unless there is an arrangement or revelation, that Doumeki will be fired. Let’ see.
But the Hirata plot is not over.
This should also kickstart the plot about Doumeki.
Yashiro is about to become the number 1 of Doushinkai, will he step down to leave with Doumeki?
Yashiro is a solid businessman, despite his dealings. Either he cleans up Doushinkai’s act so Doumeki can be with him safely or does something else.